My Fathers Alienware laptop has been dying lately. He’s also been very unhappy with the latest Microsoft offerings, and since Mom has been using Ubuntu for years, he was willing to give it a shot. My father likes nice hardware and is willing to spend money on it, unlike his son who just buys the cheapest crap. So the decision was: Dad wants a laptop with Linux.
My eye has been on Tuxedo Computers for a while. I intended to buy there, once either my Acer Aspire S3-391 or Dell XPS L502x would give up the ghost. Not happening any time soon, but I did recommend my father to buy a laptop at Tuxedo Computers because, as far I could tell, they’d ship with Ubuntu pre-installed.
I am, alas, a busy man, and the Tuxedobook arrived, and I won’t be having time to look at it the next weeks. I managed to clear up one measly hour to assist my father in doing the first setup. I, naively, assumed that would be all I need. Let’s see how I imagined this:
- Unbox the laptop
- Plug it in
- Boot up
- Get presented with the Ubuntu OEM installer
- Set the hostname, set up his account
- Copy his Thunderbird and Firefox settings from his Alienware Windows machine
- Set up the samba share to our family server
- Have a coffee, and have a chat with him and be on my merry way
I know this is possible. I have done it myself, I sent my Zotac Nano ID61 to my friend John in Germany. I did the OEM install, tested it (and reset it back to OEM install). Approved it for good and I know it worked for him. He told me he was suprised I did it for him, as he obviously could do i installs from scratch himself, but the gesture was appreciated. Really, an OEM Ubuntu install is as easy as setting up a Windows OEM machine. If not easier. This is how OEMs, and Tuxedo Computers is one, should sent the hardware to their customers.
So, naively, I went to my parents without any of my gear. No cables, no USB DVD Rom drives, not even a long network cable (my father uses wireless and while there is cabled infrastructure, there are no RJ45 in the living room).
I get there and my father hasn’t even unpacked it. He let me do that. Shiny! We figure out how to plug in the battery, connect the power supply and then the magical moment of booting up comes. It boots up, and the magnificent logo of Tuxedo Computers comes up. Of course, I expect the Ubuntu logo next, but… nope… PXE booting starts. Odd? Is there no system on the SSD? Perhaps on the HDD? Let’s try booting from the HDD instead. Nope. Okay, fine. First, I think: I’ll do a PXE boot and we’ll have this running in no time. Oh. No network cable, right…
Let me think, ah, they added a Ubuntu DVD! Great, let’s boot from… oh, yes, right. Modern laptops don’t have optical drives. Obviously my USB DVD drive is at home.
Well, Dads got 100Mbps fibre. I’ll download Ubuntu 16.04 on my Moms computer. That takes less than 5 minutes from releases.ubuntu.com, then I’ll drop it on a USB stick and we’re running. Look, I even have a brand new 8GB USB stick in my car. As expected, the download takes no time. Startup disk creator fails on it. I try a direct dd of the ISO on it. Nope, somehow hangs. Weird. I guess that USB stick was dead. Dad gives me an old 2GB USB stick. Startup disk creator fails, dd from iso succeeds. Sweet. We’re 40 minutes in my allocated time. I may be lucky and get it running within the remaining time.
I boot from the stick and during the installation process, the Ubuntu installer tells me: “Hey, buddy… This thing already has Ubuntu on it. Wanna overwrite it?” What?!? How? I notice it’s an EFI installation (hey, the “EFI” partition gives it away, right?”). I abort the installation and boot into the firmware of the computer. I notice that EFI is disabled. Keep in mind: it was delivered this way! I turn EFI on and reboot!
It does boot into Ubuntu. Sweet! I’ll get this done in… Wait? What? It boots to a German version of Ubuntu (fair enough) and the login screen and presents us with a user named after my fathers first name. I ask my dad whether he got a password from Tuxedo Computers. He says that he hasn’t. Sure, he might have overseen it and perhaps we didn’t look enough in all the enclosed papers, but that’s not how you pre-install Linux. I tried a few passwords, like his first name again, our last name, 1234. Nothing let us in.
Obviously, I said “Fuck this shit, I’ll do it myself”.
Booting from the USB stick I created earlier, I tried installing Ubuntu. Which then gives me crap about EFI and I notice that the Ubuntu installer doesn’t allow me to create GPT partition tables. It also tells about SSD alignemnt problems (SSD tells sectors are 2048 based, Linux tells it’s 512 based. Partitioning stupidly believes the Linux kernel) I tried the classic MBR setup. That’s easy and usually works. Grub fails to install.
I tried to install grub manually, I don’t manage. Surely my fault, because I’m really angry by now.
At that point, I am through my time and I have to give up. I was really, really, enraged. As in “physically violently” enraged. I wanted to smash something. This was supposed to be easy, this was supposed to be working out of the box!
Yes, I do realize that the majority of Tuxedo Computers customers are people like me that nuke and install anyway, but that’s no excuse! This was the most crappy out of the box experience I’ve ever had and I now have a ton of work, waiting for me and a father who cannot use his new toy. Earliest I can take time would be begin August.
If I’d be a customer who just wanted a “Linux computer” that worked out of the box, I’d definitely return it. Sure, I’ll fix it, I’ll get it running, but you shouldn’t actually need a guy like me to get a Linux machine up and running.
This is exactly the reason why people think that Linux is hard. Exactly this!